Well, here we are and it continues to be a mess in my mind and heart. Regular readers of mine may know that I intentionally work on taking in stimuli through my heart, then sending to mind to be dispersed wherever it goes. I am in a large tizzy in the ways we are choosing to respond these days. It is numbing.

New Zealand is demonstrating Servant Leadership, while the US must believe that denial is a good place to reside. No COVID cases in NZ and millions here. Some people seems to think we are “making great again” while taking people off health care in the middle of a pandemic, public schools not receiving adequate funding or support, lying and turning on one another.

I had to take a break from writing just to relocate my heart, to hold it as it weeps and find our good again. It was not easy. It still isn’t. Yet, I realize this journey we are on is not about easy. I choose to practice even more and take more walks in the heat, simply so I can feel all the feelings. I have friends who still hold on to the idea that their vote is meaningless. No no. It all has meaning. We cannot have an engaged society when less than half vote and many who want to vote are refused.

COVID and voting. It’s all intertwined in feeling our hearts and knowing, knowing that we are One. COVID is as much, or more, a spiritual virus as it is a physical one. I walk, I breathe, cry, jump and talk with folks. Wearing masks or not, throwing cigs on the grass in parks, do we still need to be told or punished.

How about feeling one another? If it is too hard or painful, breathe some more.

Breathe till you cry out for a country that will vote for Servant Leaders.

Reconnect with your heart.
Vote.
Take care.

The post I took a break to find my heart. appeared first on Arnie Freiman.

We greet each other most of the time with a “How are you?”. Sometimes we mean it. And sometimes we do not. In fact, have you ever really answered the person honestly?

I’ve been aware and uncomfortable with empty words for years. But, especially today in this surreal moment, I am conscious of the hollowness of “how are you?” and other greetings that just do not connect.

What I’d rather see is that we actually take a moment to pause, reflect, and show care and concern. If we took a moment to truly care, what greeting would make sense to use?

When I connect, I tend to use my eyes and facial expression first. Sometimes words follow; sometimes they don’t need to. If we just slow down a little and care, we can find the right words. This is important in a time when visual cues from body language just aren’t there. A simple set of thoughtfully chosen words can make us feel as though our lives matter. Make a connection form a place of “I care” and “I love”.

Empty words are a part of busy lives. They exist in a world where networking and closing deals are more important than friendship, which Facebook redfined by a series of thumbs up. It’s lost it’s deepness.

Now is the time to connect intentionally.

Living into our stories and caring for one another is always worth the time. We have meaning and purpose. All of us. In fact, meaning is a foundation to a fulfilling life journey.

When you say “I care how you are right now,” it does not take away from anyone’s journey. Love only enhances. We can do better than “How are you?” Let’s connect on a deeper level.

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Having a tribe, a community, offers a sense of belonging, which is one of the pillars of well-being. We are social beings and thrive in being a part of it. Yet, belonging without clarity of the self holds a possibility for separation. This paradox is complex with our health at its center.

Belonging is such a strong human behavior—we see children running to the sand box with others and adults creating handshakes and cannons of behavior. On the other hand, we have given away our personal stories to fit in at home, work, and church.

Are there any ways you question, even for a moment, groups you joined or continued from in family life? Do you tell yourself the stories or pledges you’ve made are just the entry fee to belong? And, that the benefits outweigh precarious situational possibilities?

Spend intentional time within; listen to your story. Reclaim stories you gave away or abandoned on the way. How do they fit today? Is your life in alignment with your core, your inner meaning?

How wondrous to belong and feel a part of various groups. Gift yourself these journeys while you bring yourself fully and authentically to the group. See how they feel as you offer YOU to them. Do they ask or require giving you away, or do they welcome your voice into the harmony?

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I have been thinking a lot about resilience these days.

Today I visited a cute small town in Central Florida enjoying their weekly market until I was asked if I am a registered voter. I asked what their petition was about when he indignantly said only citizens should vote in Florida. I asked what their intention was and said that I thought all can vote who meet the registration guidelines. Not one of my questions was answered. Instead, shockingly, I was called a lefty asshole. A woman around the same age as the proud inclusive NZ woman followed me continuing her incendiary language about what makes her America great.

As my friend and I ducked into a store I was trembling with fear and anger. Remembering I am at choice to continue my melodrama, even if it felt appropriate, I also remembered my well-being. So, we went to see the beach where I could bring my playful self to others.

Ignorance abounds even in sweet places on the top of the happiness index. Thich Nhat Hanh shares that, “there is suffering, yet the sky is blue, birds are singing, and babies are taking their first steps”.

The post Resilience appeared first on Arnie Freiman.

We’re being bombarded with multitude of conflicting news and sales pitches for what constitutes a healthy diet. According to Google there have been around 130 million books published on diets, yet we continue to be confused as diabetes and heart disease grow in numbers each year along with inflammatory issues such as Arthritis.

We buy drinks with enough sugar in each one to last a lifetime and continue to believe the propaganda from the fast food and prepared food industries. What’s going on? Are we stupid? Do we have death wishes or are strangers to ourselves? One of the side effects of living our inner lives contrary to our well-being is immediate gratification. There is enough sugar or other addictive additives going into our food supply at competitive pricing, coupled with inauthentic stories that feed our sadness, that we close our heart in exchange for the story of lost care.

As sad as we can be and are many times, surround ourselves with sanghas of care. Stretch even in the hurt, to welcome new models, dispelling old stories that aren’t ours anyway. And each time we yell how do I do this anyway?  Do it.

Cup your hands and place on your heart.  Listen to these stories, allow you to feel them in your heart now. Breathe, feel the stories for what they are. Just watch and ask yourself if you want to write a new script, write it making changes as you desire till it feels in your heart, Yours.

When you live from your story, you will know, are you still holding your heart with your cupped hands.  Feel in your hands, send the feelings and thoughts to your mind with love. Smile at yourself as they go through your being. They are powerful, you’re the writer and director. Do you want that sugar laden drink or food, have you tasted real sweetness, it’s on your lips and in your heart. There’s the diet you’ve been longing.

The post The sweetest diet around appeared first on Arnie Freiman.

I had no idea there was a word or tradition to being quiet and listening to my inner stories.

I found my home life at times just too noisy. Actually, my neighborhood and certainly, extended family was too noisy much of my life. Even my Jewish School along with evening and Saturday services were noisy. This left little room for reflection in my growing years. Quiet, in the conventional Shabbat services was an interlude, rather than the chatter, whether songs, recitation or Rabbi’s sermon. Then after service, more chatter over finger food and sweet wine.

Encountering Quaker meetings was a shock to a system that had no idea what to do for an hour of quiet. No one stood in the front, no one told me what to believe or hymns to sing standing and sitting at prescribed intervals. And, if God forbid, I wanted to ‘waste time’ with daydreaming, louder injunctions were tossed my way. How does a group of people beg God for help or guidance when there’s no speaking or directed strategies?

Years of guilt and mind chatter interfered with my inner quiet, but through illness, life questions and headaches from everyone “yelling” I continued listening till I found my own way in to a gentler place. I went to meditation classes, each sharing their strategies for ideal life strategies. The classes were wonderful as each offered tidbits for what was going to be my way in.

Today, whether walking or sitting or singing and writing, I can sink into a place of quiet and feeling. I give myself a gift of Shabbat, an intentional break from ordinary time, anywhere or any time I desire. This gift is outside the realm of commerce, I don’t need to go somewhere special, like a Cathedral or classroom. I don’t need to wait till sundown Friday night.  I used to invite this gift of amazement in at prescribed times, so I knew I would be there. I now welcome at any time, sometimes it just comes in without my interference at all.

And I experience:

• moments of grace, lessening tensions or moments of crazy thinking
• relaxing my body, giving it regular moments of healing
• allowing my mind to chill from always making decisions and running amok
• knowing that my being doesn’t need to always be on, that it can feel so good doing dynamic nothing
• appreciating that not doing can actually produce extraordinary results
• moving at a new pace is healthy
• listening over time shifts the inner talk and critic
• that I take things in through my heart now
• that I love me

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I was in the air on election eve. When I awoke in the morning to the shocking news of the Presidential election, I turned over and rolled back to sleep—believing I was in the middle of a dream or nightmare. But the news was the same after I awoke for the second time and from that moment I vowed to turn off the news ongoing.

A big decision. I know.

Let me explain:

The timing was interesting. I was healing from a toxic marriage and actively working on resolving questions having to do with choice and relationship. I was focusing on life direction and spending a lot of time looking at the decisions we make and the cause and effect at play in the universe. With the election over, I started to look at how consciousness had been asking for this election. It had also been asking: “How can we have a democratic process with less than half the population voting?”

It was all a lot to process. And I felt like I could no longer be a party to the abuse and violence taking place in our culture. As my friend and profound mentor Dr. Robert (Bob) Kimball used to say: “the category of things is getting in the way of love.”

We had actually spent the past 25 years picking apart, debating, and unravelling this one question:

“Does the human have the capacity to form Institutional Life (love, work,school, etc.) without doing violence to one another?”

Can we love and know ourselves and care enough for the ourselves and the other to come together without the need to control or direct? In a time of feeling overwhelm, fear and apathy, we are left with this past election results. What does this have to do with love? And with the news?

I made a decision to do the work to consciously bring in information and people that enhance the odds of love. And to allow for the possibility of coming together for all our benefit.

This work asks for us to be present in each moment with on-going, daily committed work. It is not easy being sacred, human. It is our calling. It is where the sacred resides. This is the powerful difference between attending a once-a-week worship and memorizing a book and engaging in a practice. Listening to the manipulated and controlled news (even the word “news” is commercial bladder) does little to foster our personal and collective work. So I’m done with it.

If you’re interested in joining my experiment and increasing the odds of more love, try these less radical, yet totally pro-love exercises:

• Go for a week without turning on commercial news
• Go for a week without reading a newspaper either online or in print
• Talk with friends for a month about positive things only
• Read a book with your friends that supports growing
• Put together support group where members share and support each other’s journeys
• Share stories that enhance your life and the lives of your family and friends
• Meditate regularly and combine breathing exercises with life-enhancing words
• Get involved in positive, effective community groups and spiritual groups

Less news. More love.
That’s the kinda world we deserve to live in.

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